Because humans are so complex and unique it is hard to create a “general transformation process”, but we can go through the main topics that such a process would require.
1. On the Anxiety scale, what’s the Starting point?
Anxiety is the best signal telling us that something can be improved, be that the personal boundary, or neutralizing a trauma from the past, or identifying an unsolved need towards which it is worthy to channel all of your energy.
It is important to accept that the first part of our life we go through our development and transformation in an unconscious manner with little power of our own. Everything we experience negatively is “our parents’ fault” until they educate in us a healthy boundary. After that, it is up to us individually to make the best of what we have, to questions some of the things we accepted for granted, to let go of some other things, to find our paths, to be on our own, and overall to be aligned with ourselves, no matter how hard that might be. Anxiety tells us that something is not good enough or it is not solved yet, and it comes in many nuances including fear, jealousy, guilt, nativity, failure, worrying, and other negative emotions.
So before jumping into doing something completely new, find out for yourself what is your level of Anxiety?
2. The source of this Anxiety: Is it External or Internal?
Is the desire for the transformation triggered by an external event, or by an internal past pain that became unbearable for various reasons? There are cases in which an external trauma (like a pandemic, a loss of a loved one, the loss of a job) makes us question our entire lives, and further, it leads us to a fulfilling (although sometimes uncomfortable) personal transformation. Here it is important to understand the difference between being on a transformation journey and not just spending time suffering over the uncontrollable, believing that we might deserve that.
Some other times, various small things accumulate and lead to an increase in our Anxiety to such a level that it is obvious that we have to do something about it so that we enjoy more our lives on this Earth. Maybe there is some trauma we kept with us all along, believing it was part of us, maybe we missed something in our upbringing, maybe our personalities don’t match the cultural environment in which we find ourselves, and other such small nuances that can make life really miserable.
Sometimes all the things seem to bring us Anxiety, and for those cases, a professional can sort out the chaos and identify the two or three main big sources of Anxiety to focus on further.
3. Where do you spend most of your Anxious Thinking time: in the Past? or in the Future?
Do you feel that you are living in the Past (and ruminate over things that make you feel guilt, regret, naivety, failure, etc) or in the Future (and you feel jealousy, worry, revenge, etc). It is important to understand what drives you: a desire for a better future, or a desire to overcome a more traumatic past? Understanding this will enable you to dose the energy correctly and focus on what could release the biggest positive energy trapped inside of you.
Individual Transformations journeys are not easy, but they shouldn’t be dreadful either! Going outside of your comfort zone doesn’t mean living in an even higher state of Anxiety, or in an even more uncomfortable situation. You’ll know that you are on the right Transformation Journey when it will feel energizing to change some of the needed things, and accept others, and it will be exciting to find out exactly what would be the wisest thing to work on next.
Every transformation is different because humans are different and very complex. There is no one system that captures everything in a practical manner, but the key here is to know what’s possible with the resources that you have and be able to balance between systems and concepts that are in opposition while keeping things very practical and energizing for you. If you find a coach that talks about a system that you feel might be useful to you, your choice is between investing money (and trust) in a few sessions with that coach or investing time in learning to use the system on you in a practical manner, including the estimation of the patience you need between a particular action and its desired result.
If you would like to test the system on transforming Anxiety, you can book a 15 min discovery call with me by using the link below:
Or you can book directly a weekly slot for a few sessions with me below:
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